|"It's raining." Eunsook smiles and though she can’t see the raindrops, she can feel them wetting her palm as she sticks it out the window. It’s a hot, sticky summer day, just like yesterday and the day before that, though the rain seems like some kind of relief after a tiny heat wave took over Seoul. It’s a hot rain, but Eunsook doesn’t care, her fingers playing with the water collecting on her fingertips.|
Key stands behind her, eyes welling up with tears as he crosses his arms over his chest, watching her closely. She always seems so happy, so full of life, and even though she’s blind, she lives life to the fullest. He wants to be just like her, that’s why he got to know her in the first place, but he knows she’s too pure and perfect to be imitated.
“Yeah.” He croaks and her head turns sharply in his direction, the smile on her lips faltering just a little bit at the way his voice cracks.
“Baby, what’s wrong?” She asks him, stepping closer and she doesn’t expect the book to be on the floor because she stumbles over it, falling down onto the hard wood floor with a sick crack. Key is at her side immediately, picking her up to sit, his lips quivering with unshed tears.
“Shit Eunsook, are you okay?” He asks softly, but Eunsook is laughing, throwing her head back and laughing at her own misfortune, nodding with a smile.
“I’m fine, when did the book get there? Aish, it must have been you, you know I can’t read.”
Key knows it’s supposed to be a kind gesture to make him feel better, but it makes him feel worse, because that is his book. That is his stupid English book that she tripped over. It makes him sick that he’s so worried about her but she isn’t even worried about herself, doesn’t even care that she just tripped and fell because of his mistake. He doesn’t say anything, his fingers holding onto her wrist loosely and he feels her body stiffen ever so slightly.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean—“
“No, baby, shut up, it’s my fault.” There is a chuckle in his voice, but it doesn’t soothe her, her lips quivering with unspoken words.
They don’t speak, they only sit on the floor together, his thumb stroking over the back of her hand with a light sigh. Time passes slowly, the chime of the clock sounding 11 PM and he waits till the 6th chime to get up.
“Are you hungry?” He asks her, but she doesn’t let go of his hand, murmuring to him quietly.
“Don’t leave me. I’m sorry I’m such a burden, I-I… please don’t leave me, I’ll find a donor soon, I promise, but I can’t do it without you, Kibum, please don’t—“
“I’m not… Eunsook, I’m not going anywhere, what’s going on?” He whispers as he kneels by her side, his fingers tilting her head up and even if he can’t look into her eyes, he thinks it’s perfect anyways.
“Promise me.” She whispers to him, her fingers tentatively reaching out to grab at his nightshirt, fisting the material into her fingers. Tom and Jerry, she knows that one.
“I promise I won’t leave you, Eunsook. I love you.” He tells her and there’s no doubt in his voice. She almost believes his words this time.
She doesn’t remember when she falls asleep, but when she wakes up, she can’t smell his cologne, nor can she hear pots for breakfast, nor can she feel his arms around her body like usual.
“Kibum?” She calls out but there’s no answer, there’s no cheery “Good morning, sunshine.” like yesterday or the day before that. She climbs out of bed, hands immediately finding the wall, the door, the hallway, before the wall ends and she’s standing in the living room.
“Kibum?” She calls out again but she can’t feel his presence, can’t feel his warmth like usual. It’s cold this morning, the window still open from the rain yesterday but she ignores it, fingers moving around towards the kitchen where he usually is. But he isn’t there, only an empty cup and the coffee pot that he always leaves on (she knows, because she burns herself again) left in his wake.
She makes her way to the living room, banging her knee against the coffee table before she collapses onto the floor; tears stream down her face as she scratches at the floor, sobs leaving her cold, trembling lips.
“You promised me, you promised…” She says, but no one is there to hear her words; no one is there to hug her as she cries this time. Only the breeze that comes through the open window can help her now.
It’s night time, she knows by that damn clock striking 9 times and she’s somehow made it back into bed, the covers curled up closely to her chest. Her tears have stopped by now, but her lips are still trembling, along with her body.
Then, she hears the door open and feet shuffle along the ground, and suddenly she’s enveloped into a warm hug, Kibum’s nose dug tightly into her neck.
“K-kibum… you left, you-" She whispers to him and the tears start again, feeling his hair, his beautiful hair that is a shade of glossy chestnut (she asked), the strands thick and straight against his head.
He doesn’t stop hugging her, fingers digging tightly into her sides that she guesses there will be bruises there later.
“They called Eunsook, they called, the doctor called, they—“
He doesn’t have to finish, because she’s kissing him, her lips always knowing their way to his; her fingers curl deeply into his hair as he lays her down, his lips trailing down her neck slowly.
“I love you, I love you.” He whispers to her as they make love, his hips rocking slowly into hers, his lips brushing repeatedly against her eyelids, her nose, her lips. Everything is perfect as they intertwine their fingers above her head, her body shaking and trembling with happiness. Something is different this time, and when he says “I love you” one more time after they finish, laying together with smiles, she believes it.
He holds her hand and she lies down on the surgeon’s table before the surgery, and he wonders if he’ll ever regain feeling in his hand with the way he’s squeezing it so hard.
“It’s just a transplant baby, you’ll be fine soon, I promise.”
“Do you have to go in the other room?”
“Yeah, I can’t stay with you… but you’ll be okay. I promise you’ll be okay.”
Key smiles at her, presses a kiss to her forehead with a small sigh and then he lets go of her hand, watching as she gets the gas and she’s immediately knocked out.
He’s escorted out of the room for hours upon hours and everything goes so slowly as he waits in the waiting room. He gets a few stares from pregnant mothers or waiting fathers or little girls with broken arms, but nothing makes time speed up except the sleep that comes slowly.
It’s light outside when there is a shake to his shoulder and he immediately jumps up, letting out a nervous breath as the doctor stands before him, whispering those words he wants to hear.
“The surgery is done, we’ll have to see how she progresses in a week.”
He wants to hug the doctor, squeeze the life out of him, give up his first born for him, but instead he just bows, shakes his hand and waits until he walks off to start crying.
He enters her room and she’s laying there, her body still with sleep, her chest heaving up and down thanks to her dream.
So he takes a spot next to her, pulling up a chair to her side as his hand take hers with a smile.
“Oh god Eunsook, I’m so scared… when you told me you were scared, I tried to keep strong, but I’m so scared for you. For us. I love you, I won’t stop loving you, but I’m scared I pushed you into this and if you hate it, I—“
“You didn’t push me,” She whispers and he jumps, tries to take his hand away but she holds onto it tightly, not letting it leave her lap. He didn't really expect her to hear that or even be conscious enough to remember. “I wanted this, I want… I want to see you, I want to see our children when we have them… I’m scared, but it’s worth it.”
And then he sees that she’s crying and he laughs, laughs behind his happy tears as he wipes what he can from behind her bandages, cupping her cheek when he’s all done.
“Stop, don’t cry, it’ll hurt more.”
She nods, curling her cheek into his hand with a sigh, mumbling. “One week, baby.”
One week goes by so slowly, but she’s sitting up in her bed, a lump in her throat as she waits impatiently. Kibum is there, right by her side as always, hand trembling as he watches the doctor peel off that gaze covering her eyes.
The doctor takes the gaze away and time seems to stop, his breathing seems to stop as she opens her eyes slowly, blinking a couple of times as she stares straight forward.
“Eunsook?” He whispers after a moment but she doesn’t look at him, only holding out her free hand to look at her hand then she looks up at the ceiling with a shaky cry.
“What baby, what’s wrong?!” And oh god, he’s freaking out, heart thumping wildly in his chest, hands holding onto her shoulders. She’s crying, sobs raking her body as she holds onto him, her eyes wandering around the room.
“I can see, oh my god, it’s blurry but I can see, I can see all the colors, I can see light, I can see—“
Then her eyes land on him, and they’re a chocolate brown, swirled with a little hazel in them. They’re not originally hers, but they are now, they’re all hers. Her fingers move up to cup his cheek, her body trembling as she moves over the familiar contours of his face, but this time is different because she can see him.
“—you. You’re beautiful, Kibum.” She whispers and he is crying with her, immediately bringing her into his arms as he hugs her close to him, chin on the top of her head as he whispers.
“Oh God Eunsook.” is all he can say as they rock together, back and forth, her body seeming to melt into his.
A year later, they stand together in the living room of that same apartment, her same hand out the window as it rains that same warm, summer drizzle.
But she’s different, because she can see the raindrops, see the clouds, see the growing bump in her stomach and the wedding ring on her finger. And she can see Key’s arms wrapped around her waist as he nuzzles close, breathing in her scent with a happy smile. He stares into her eyes, watches tears form in them, but he doesn’t make any move to wipe them away. No, he continues to stare into her eyes, loving the emotion swimming around in those beautiful eyes of hers.
“It’s raining.” She tells him, and when she looks back at him, she smiles because this is better than she ever imagined it to be.
“Yeah.” He tells her and that’s that.